Peel the cucumbers and slice them into 1/4-inch rounds—uniform thickness ensures even marinating and consistent texture throughout the salad. Thinly slice the scallions, keeping the white and light green parts separate from the darker green tops; you'll add the tops at the end for fresher flavor. Set both aside while you prepare the dressing.

In a large bowl, whisk together the Miracle Whip, sugar, and apple cider vinegar until smooth and well combined. Add the dried dill, salt, freshly cracked black pepper, and celery seed, stirring until all the seasonings are evenly distributed throughout the dressing. I like to taste the dressing at this point and adjust the vinegar or salt if needed—it should be tangy and slightly sweet.

Add the sliced cucumbers and the white parts of the scallions to the dressing from Step 2, folding gently until everything is evenly coated. Transfer to the refrigerator and chill for at least 1 hour so the cucumbers absorb the flavors and become lightly pickled. Just before serving, fold in the reserved dark green scallion tops to keep their color and fresh flavor bright.